Sunday, October 20, 2019

Sortie essays

Sortie essays This story had a lot of good ideas but I couldnt really follow what was going on. I thought that the narrative paragraphs made complete sense.... Then I would get to the dialogue and be scratching my head. I think the dialogue is where you lost me. Your character has a good strong voice... I can feel her emotions. Also your descriptions of people and the coffee shop were really good. I knew exactly what it looked like or what the person looked like. I didnt feel like the story had good movement... it didnt seem to flow very well. That was the only thing that I think was really wrong with the story. It seemed like you were jumping back and forth between different fragments of this girls life.... And I could really follow the general ideas. I realized that you were saying something about the concept of life and how different people were but I guess I didnt really understand what you wanted me to understand. One thing that may help the story just look better is the font.... It really confused me. I think it made me cross-eyed.... But that just could have been me. I really loved the girls character.... She was hilarious... I just got lost when she started talking. Maybe if you just shaped up the dialogue a bit it would be a masterpiece. I couldnt figure out the general motive of the story... or really the plot. However, I could have just totally missed the entire point. The story was really funny though. ...

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